Tuesday, April 12, 2011

#2 Loathing in process... ...

Living in a shell all these while made a dull boy.

It was then when I started to think about purchasing a house or even my own car. At a young age like this and with no stable income, how could I afford all of these?

Multilevel marketing could be the solution or opening up a conventional business? It seems like that's the only way you could get the hell out of the working environment which sometimes can be bitter or sweet depending on situations.

Future is rather bleak for me here.

------ ----- ----- ----- ----- ----- -----
Frustration often strikes whenever I ask myself now and then, "Why am I here for in the first place?", "Am I even qualified to be here?", "Why do I feel ignored or alienated" etc. Such feelings grow day by day. I wonder I could contain them how much longer?

I have done my best to review and to absorb day by day the knowledge that I lack of but reviewing won't do me any good. I really need practices to know where my weakness is.

In the midst of being busy, am I really that kind of person who is not worth to be concerned of or do I look like a greedy person to you? I admit that what I have chosen is for my own benefit but I did put my very best effort to study about.

Mind you, I did not take it just because I'm going to gobble up the money that you have. I just want to do something that I find interesting. If I do it well, you will also get benefit. One thing for sure, I need to write something to impress you.

Sheesh, sounds like I'm begging for mercy.

Pride aside, I really hope to do something instead of sitting ogling at people and staring at words without talking to people. It's making me going back to my own shell like I used to be. I want to be the outspoken one in Uni once more.

I thought I was growing but instead it seems that I'm shrinking... ...

I'm being more pessimistic... ...

Gah! Almighty one, please save me!

No comments: